Change while active August 22, 2007
Posted by Jennai Ell in Alumni Affairs, Brotherhood, Chapter Issues, Kappa Kappa Psi.add a comment
Sorry – I read it as after we leave, because while we’re still there, well, that’s part of membership ed, so far as I’m concerned. Getting the feet wet so that prospectives can figure out what they like/dislike/are good at doing. Delegating to see what they can do, etc while the older brothers are still watching over their shoulders to make sure that they understand reasons and history and all the rest.
However…Turf Herder’s list?
- The Old violently resists change and makes the New feel unwelcome and thwarted.
- The New disrespects what has been and makes the Old feel defensive.
- Someone with a really bad, pushy attitude and drastically different priorities comes in and bulldozes their way through the chapter with no regard for peoples’ feelings, focused only on their own agenda.
Been there, done that, got a COUPLE shirts.
1 and 2 lead into a nasty feedback cycle. Which, IMHO, leads to some of the problems alumni have when we leave – because the newer brothers do a bit of “whew, they’re FINALLY gone, so we can do what we want now”. I think if they have better supervision when they’re new (NOT micromanaging) that they get a chance to really understand and respect the brother who came before – which tends to make this less of a problem. They feel trusted by the older brothers, and the older brothers learn to trust that the “new kids” aren’t gonna kill their chapter. I’ve only ever seen it *really* work that way once or twice though…it involves a LOT of preparation and open minds on the active chapter side, when bringing in prospectives.
And then there’s 3. This one hurts a place in my heart that never does seem to heal. When I think about the vision set forth by the founding brothers…and see someone pulling political BS? It makes me want to run screaming, to hide in a country that’s never heard of KKPsi, to give up all hope for the future of the organization. A couple years ago, there was a brother who aired all the political “dirty laundry” – and it made me sick to read it – because those stories should not represent who or what WE are.
I think that good brothers will hold to a chapter somehow and that weaker ones will “weed themselves out” at some point. But how does a chapter figure out who the political ones are, before it’s too late?
It’s OK When I’m Gone August 21, 2007
Posted by balcoholic in Alumni Affairs, Chapter Issues, Kappa Kappa Psi, List of Reasons, Retention & Attrition.add a comment
I understand what you are saying Jennai Ell and I have to say that really it doesn’t bother me that my chapter changed after I left. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been back to see them but once for a very brief visit and have distanced myself (for other reasons that I’m sure eventually we’ll go into here but not now). Or maybe it’s because I was feeling the drift while I was there and felt it was no longer a part of me before I left. I don’t know.
What I was trying to get at was the rift that was put in my active chapter when we got a group of newbies. We got a group of new members and those members had a different take on things that changed the way we were while we were active. This caused at least 2 members (that I can remember) to go inactive, a few actives to go conditional and a few more to completely disengage in the chapter only coming to meetings to keep their active status until they graduate so they could be considered “alumni.”
Maybe my question is more like: how do we get the experienced actives to understand and be open to change and how can we get the new actives to understand and be open to what exists so as to not cause rifts in the chapter?
Ooof… that’s a tough one.
Here’s one for the why join KKPsi list:
To meet people from other places (and at your own school) that are as passionate as you are for band.
when we “move on” August 21, 2007
Posted by Jennai Ell in Alumni Affairs, Kappa Kappa Psi.add a comment
Oh, balcoholic.
I hate to say it – but no chapter stays the same after we move on. It’s the hardest thing I know I’ve had to deal with as an alumn, and it’s a sad song that’s sung by nearly every alumn I’ve ever met.
The new brothers look to the old brothers and say “they don’t understand meeeeee”
The old brothers look at the new brothers and say “they don’t understand who we werrrrre”
It’s a sad fact of life that the chapter will change. It CANNOT be what it was when you were there. Because there are new people, with new ideas amd new views in it. And even if you still live nearby, you are no longer active, and cannot force the chapter to see things your way.
It can be a good thing. But it’s SO hard on us alumni. To go from having your hands on every aspect – to little or no say. It’s a BIG change.
All I can say (and it’s far too late for us now) is to try and be a good example to the new kids. I can’t say how proud I am that members of my family tree can still point me out in a crowd. They know I’m keeping an eye on the chapter, even if I can’t “officially” say anything about the way things are done nowadays. So they generally do the right thing. Even as the newer brothers get newer, and the older graduate themselves, the family tree remembers. Because my littles/sons remembered – and they made sure that THEIR littles/sons remembered – and so on and so on and so on.
*edit* Oh, and if there’s something REALLY important to the history and traditions? Make sure to let the new kids know (as early as their prospective classes) exactly WHY it’s so important. I heard a horror story from…one of the AZ schools? About someone who wanted to change something about their chapter song – and it didn’t go over well. Lots of unhappiness, that situation – which could have been avoided
Other than that? It’s hold your breath, hope for the best, and pray that this new “alumni program” the fraternity’s come up with is able to do something useful.
