Who Here Has a Good Joke About Pin-up Girls? August 29, 2007
Posted by Pepper in Kappa Kappa Psi, Letters & Pins.add a comment
Yeah, I would say that the question is less “do we have to wear our pins”, because really around here most of us don’t require it, right? The question is more like, “don’t we WANT to wear our pins?”
And if not, how come?
I agree with Turf, Jenni, and Balco that negative reinforcement sucks. The random checks sound neat, though. You don’t get punished if you forget, but you get rewarded if you remember. Of course, isn’t the point to want to wear it, not to want to get candy or whatever?
Trying to remember if anyone ever said anything to me that made me go all gooshy inside over my pin. Or if I just always wanted to wear it because it so pretty. ;)
Wearing Pins… very perplexing… August 29, 2007
Posted by balcoholic in Kappa Kappa Psi, Letters & Pins.1 comment so far
I’m sorry to say that I don’t think I have an answer to the wearing pins ordeal. I agree with Jennai Ell in that, you shouldn’t have to wear your pin and I’m pondering the same question of “Why do we wear our pins?”
When I was active, I wore my active pin everyday, all day (exepting the swimming, sleeping, sex, etc). I felt pride to wear my pin; to show that I earned it. That, and I always remember this story that was told to me by one of the alpha brothers of my chapter….
I believe he was in an airport on his way somewhere (correct me if I’m wrong, those who know the story) and he saw a line of military officers (of some sort) none of whom he knew. All of the sudden, one of the officers broke rank, came over and shook his hand (and it wasn’t just a regular shake). Perplexed by the officer breaking rank and coming over to him he was confused as to how he knew that they were brothers and realized that he was wearing his active pin.
I think that for me, I always wore mine in hopes that I would meet someone from somewhere else and have an instant bond with them. You can’t wear letters everyday (well, you can, but you know, that costs a lot to have that many shirts) and I was afraid that I’d miss out on an awesome meeting if I didn’t wear my pin.
Between that and having pride in showing I was an active member, I wanted to wear my pin. Maybe we can encourage in other ways than just positive reinforcement?
When to wear pins August 29, 2007
Posted by Jennai Ell in Kappa Kappa Psi, Letters & Pins.add a comment
What a question…I mean, it’s so hard to answer that!
Some chapters don’t ever wear them except to the dressiest of events, because CofAs are supposed to be more formal than, say, recognition bars (nevermind the crown pearl badges, which are more formal still).
Some chapters wear their active pins to EVERYTHING (anyone remember the “S’s” that were the definite times NOT wear your pin? Suds, Sleeping, Sex, Swimming…I’m forgetting at least one…)
That’s a fairly strict standard! And what happens to you if (God forbid!) the back comes off and you lose your pin? Are you punished until the new one arrives? Or do you have to beg the chapter to loan you one until it gets there? draw it on your forehead?
In a lot of ways, I prefer the shirts, keychains, hats, etc for informal occasions. Much easier for band members to see and recognize, compared to an itty bitty pin (or even the newer, bigger, color pins – that are not the CofA, but I cannot recall what they’re officially called, and am currently too lazy to look up the national jewelry site and find out, since I’m not a great fan of those pins)
I personally don’t like the negative reinforcement idea for pins, but I hail from a chapter that wasn’t particularly caught up on them. People in the various bands knew who was in KKPsi and who wasn’t – and we usually didn’t NEED our letters or other paraphenalia to prove it.
I think maybe therein lies the solution for your family member…it could be as simple as a “KK – PSSSIIII!” after a rehearsal, or name tags for brothers during things like band camp, or matching chapter shirts at the last rehearsal before a performance – something that shows solidarity of purpose.
After all, what, exactly, are they wearing the pins FOR?
That, I think, needs to be the *real* question. The pins are a symbol of who and what we are. But in the grand scheme of things, we shouldn’t *need* to wear them to know that.
Regarding old pins (and please forgive my mild tangent) – the OLDEST life pins actually had your life # stamped into them. I vaguely recall hearing that at one point, CofAs might have been the same way, but I’ve never seen one that was old enough, to check for myself
A Story and a Question about Pins August 29, 2007
Posted by Turf Herder in Chapter Issues, Kappa Kappa Psi, Letters & Pins.add a comment
The other day, I had a flash from the past. My very first Little Brother came to see me, bringing a bunch of stuff she’d borrowed years before. We hadn’t seen one another in some time; in fact, since we last spoke, she’d gotten married. We caught up, and then she gave me one more thing – a tiny gold CofA.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Remember when we put through D’s class?” she responded. “I had forgotten my pin – the family pin – at home, so I borrowed one from someone without a Little so I’d have one to give to D. I ended up just paying for it. Well, I finally found my pin, the one you’d given me. Since I’m alumni, and I’m not really involved with anything anymore, I thought I’d give it back.”
I looked down at the little pin blankly. Then it hit me: this was my pin, the one that had been carefully affixed to my chest in front of scores of Brothers back when I finally became worthy of that name myself. This was the first pin of my Family Tree. This was the pin that had been intended to pass down through my Family line, a tangible symbol of that bond-within-a-bond and of our chapter’s past. It had gone AWOL so long before that I’d forgotten it had ever existed.
After my Little left, I twiddled the pin between my fingers, marveling at the way pins had changed over the past several years. My recently-purchased pin (because I lose them like a drunk freshman loses inhibitions) was easily twice as thick as my old pin, a little smaller in diameter, and yet not really any heavier. The markings on the new pin were much more distinct than those on the old pin, and the color was diff… wait. The $8 pins are made of fake-o metal and gold-plated, right? So why would they soften with age? Could my old CofA be one of the 10K pins?
Over the next few days I thought about what I should do with the pin. My Family Tree has forked; there are at least three of my descendents active in the chapter today. Who would receive the pin? If I followed Little #1’s line, I’d come to a dead end pretty quickly – all my descendents still existing come from Little #2’s line, but it has since branched in three directions. I still haven’t figured it out, so for now the pin is biding its time over my heart, a little reminder of where I came from in this fraternity.
Recently, a descendent of my family – and the chapter VP – came to me and asked about pins. Like me, she has always felt that this symbol was an important part of being a Brother, and that wearing them should be automatic for people in the chapter – a given. Instead, she saw that only a handful of people ever wore their pins outside of ritual, and that they usually only wore them to meetings. As the school year kicks off, she was wondering if there was any way she could “incentivize” people to wear their pins more regularly.
I asked if the chapter already did anything. Apparently, on their final MEP test, there’s a question – worth 10 points – that reads “Are you wearing your pin?” Actives and prospectives all take that test, and have to have a high score to pass. Other than that, there was no real program, motivation, or reminder to wear the pins and/or Letters with pride.
The chapter does have an attendance policy, and we discussed the (distasteful) possibility of tagging on a penalty for attending meetings without pins or Letters. We also talked about “random pin checks” at band rehearsals, where the VP would pick names out of a hat, see if they were wearing a pin, and, if so, give them some kind of a prize. (Hooray positive reinforcement!)
Do youse guys have any other ideas? Any words of motivation that she could pass along to the chapter that might light a fire of WEAR MY PIN inside her fellow Brothers?
Change while active August 22, 2007
Posted by Jennai Ell in Alumni Affairs, Brotherhood, Chapter Issues, Kappa Kappa Psi.add a comment
Sorry – I read it as after we leave, because while we’re still there, well, that’s part of membership ed, so far as I’m concerned. Getting the feet wet so that prospectives can figure out what they like/dislike/are good at doing. Delegating to see what they can do, etc while the older brothers are still watching over their shoulders to make sure that they understand reasons and history and all the rest.
However…Turf Herder’s list?
- The Old violently resists change and makes the New feel unwelcome and thwarted.
- The New disrespects what has been and makes the Old feel defensive.
- Someone with a really bad, pushy attitude and drastically different priorities comes in and bulldozes their way through the chapter with no regard for peoples’ feelings, focused only on their own agenda.
Been there, done that, got a COUPLE shirts.
1 and 2 lead into a nasty feedback cycle. Which, IMHO, leads to some of the problems alumni have when we leave – because the newer brothers do a bit of “whew, they’re FINALLY gone, so we can do what we want now”. I think if they have better supervision when they’re new (NOT micromanaging) that they get a chance to really understand and respect the brother who came before – which tends to make this less of a problem. They feel trusted by the older brothers, and the older brothers learn to trust that the “new kids” aren’t gonna kill their chapter. I’ve only ever seen it *really* work that way once or twice though…it involves a LOT of preparation and open minds on the active chapter side, when bringing in prospectives.
And then there’s 3. This one hurts a place in my heart that never does seem to heal. When I think about the vision set forth by the founding brothers…and see someone pulling political BS? It makes me want to run screaming, to hide in a country that’s never heard of KKPsi, to give up all hope for the future of the organization. A couple years ago, there was a brother who aired all the political “dirty laundry” – and it made me sick to read it – because those stories should not represent who or what WE are.
I think that good brothers will hold to a chapter somehow and that weaker ones will “weed themselves out” at some point. But how does a chapter figure out who the political ones are, before it’s too late?
Bigs and retention revisted August 21, 2007
Posted by Oats in Fraternal Families, Kappa Kappa Psi, Membership Education, Retention & Attrition.add a comment
Hi everyone!
first off – glad to be here, long time reader, first time poster…uh. umm…hmm, that doesn’t seem right.
second – holy cow! it takes me like 4 days to catch up, so bear with me.
The speed at which our bloggidy blog is moving is almost downright torrential and I find it hard to find time to comment – so I’d like to revisit the bigs and retention discussion that may have passed by.
Following Euclid and Jennai here…(and I promise this’ll be a quick post – and might touch points that have been mentioned that I just haven’t caught up with yet).
I’m having a hard time with the idea of the responsibility for retention resting on the VP and the President’s shoulders. I mean, I’m not a firm believer in the mentality that the chapter is as strong as it’s executive leadership. In some instances and chapters, that may be the case, but I’ve never been a part of that.
Retention really, in my opinion, relies on a few aspects: Membership (quality), education (pre- and post), and I suppose an argument could be made in the realm of executive branch.
Membership: It’s pretty simple really – you get those that really soak in the brotherhood, what it means to serve, enjoy themselves, wear their letters with pride. And you get those (as I believe it was mentioned) “pin and runners.” The one’s that put effort into the brotherhood are usually the ones that stick around. The brother’s that half-ass it through everything, will probably find something better (be it schoolwork, sports, significant other) to take their time away from the chapter. I won’t even talk about those that barely make it into the education process…The point I’m trying to make is, you find people that want to be there and part of the group (not just a part of something) and the retention will happen…it doesn’t mean though, you don’t have to do anything – which leads me to
education: Your pre-membership and post-membership education programs, (and I’m going to lump this in there as well) along with your rituals MUST be not only informative (duh) but interactive, fun, and most of all, I believe, (re)affirming. I don’t want to spend a great amount of time on it, but these ideals we’re taught and have been taught and are being taught over and over and over again are the reasons we decided to join, one of the reasons we decided to stay, and one of the reasons we’re still talking about it today.
Now, if you’re President and your VP are responsible for the membership and education (yes, most VP’s from what I can remember are), then okay, maybe it is imperative you have strong brothers in place. But if it is your chapters responsibility, then maybe a brother’s decision to stay is decided by what the chapter as a whole does.
Speaking from a personal note here: in my years of involvement with my chapter, I don’t think we always had the strongest brother leading. Sometimes, and more often than not, our strongest brothers were not officers – but they did participate. I think we were able to recognize, in some ways, what would be best for our chapter in the sense that, in some years, the face in office was better than the person in office.
shifting gears…(boy i hope all that made some kind of sense)
bigs/littles/family trees…
As long as you’re doing it, and as long as it works for your chapter – continue whichever method is being used. Arguements can be made for revealing early, arguements can be made for later – personally, i’m a fan of right after 2nd degree…for no other reason than that’s when I was told and that’s when I told my little’s…well, I didn’t tell them, but they found out then.
i go for now – I’ll return to the cupboard for now and try to catch up…
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes August 21, 2007
Posted by Turf Herder in Chapter Issues, Kappa Kappa Psi, List of Reasons, Recruitment.1 comment so far
Balcoholic, when I read your post I was thinking that you were talking about the changes our bands/chapters undergo while we’re still actively involved…?
And I sympathize, I really do. You’ve got a chapter with a certain personality, and then in comes a couple new members with a totally different set of priorities, and next thing you know the chapter is dividing into factions and cliques – and then, because the different people are younger, they stick around longer and recruit people with their priorities, and end up changing the personality of the entire chapter. It’s neither a good nor a bad thing, but for the people who were there when it all started, it can be really hard, sad, and disillusioning.
My mama always told me that everything changes every five years – sometimes seven years, but usually five. It’s hard not to hold onto “the ways things were” or to not believe that the way your generation of people did things was the only right way. There’s no stopping change, particularly in a school setting where the population is going to cycle every 2-5 years. The trick is, as you said, keeping the old magic alive while letting the chapter evolve with its new membership.
I know that there are times when the New is hostile to the Old (or vice versa) and that’s a whole different kettle of fish. Probably a recruitment misstep, as well, although that’s debateable; is it proper to decline membership to someone because you know they’ll cause shattering change in the chapter? But when the New and the Old are playing for the same team, just using different styles, I daresay there’s hope.
Communication and differentiation are going to be key, in my opinion.
The process of change is often hard because we don’t understand it – instead of seeing it as the natural evolution of the chapter, we see it as a personal attack, needless bickering, and other variations on DOOM. If we can sit down as a united group and talk about what’s going on, we can be more supportive of one another and considerate of the impact one person’s progress is having on another person’s tradition. There’s no reason why the Old and the New can’t work together for something greater – and in fact, that’s a large part of the reason behind this website: trying to help new members stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before, so that they reach higher and achieve bigger and greater things.
Differentiation (delegation, pet projects, what-have-you) will help let the Old and New coexist peacefully. It’s good for a chapter if many different people are leading up projects that they’re passionate about, rather than just a few people doing all the work, or people having to do things they hate. If you bring in new members who are really excited about the stage bands, and your older members are much more focused on marching band, that’s not a bad thing – it’s an opportunity to diversify.
In my experience, things only really start to fall apart when one of three things happen:
- The Old violently resists change and makes the New feel unwelcome and thwarted.
- The New disrespects what has been and makes the Old feel defensive.
- Someone with a really bad, pushy attitude and drastically different priorities comes in and bulldozes their way through the chapter with no regard for peoples’ feelings, focused only on their own agenda.
What do you do in those cases? A good sponsor might be able to help intervene… or sometimes, maybe, you just have to ride it out…
Edited to add Reasons to be a Brother:
- Best course in interpersonal relations, communication, and leadership you’ll ever take in college
- Be a part of something bigger than yourself
- Gifts of random underwear
It’s OK When I’m Gone August 21, 2007
Posted by balcoholic in Alumni Affairs, Chapter Issues, Kappa Kappa Psi, List of Reasons, Retention & Attrition.add a comment
I understand what you are saying Jennai Ell and I have to say that really it doesn’t bother me that my chapter changed after I left. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been back to see them but once for a very brief visit and have distanced myself (for other reasons that I’m sure eventually we’ll go into here but not now). Or maybe it’s because I was feeling the drift while I was there and felt it was no longer a part of me before I left. I don’t know.
What I was trying to get at was the rift that was put in my active chapter when we got a group of newbies. We got a group of new members and those members had a different take on things that changed the way we were while we were active. This caused at least 2 members (that I can remember) to go inactive, a few actives to go conditional and a few more to completely disengage in the chapter only coming to meetings to keep their active status until they graduate so they could be considered “alumni.”
Maybe my question is more like: how do we get the experienced actives to understand and be open to change and how can we get the new actives to understand and be open to what exists so as to not cause rifts in the chapter?
Ooof… that’s a tough one.
Here’s one for the why join KKPsi list:
To meet people from other places (and at your own school) that are as passionate as you are for band.
when we “move on” August 21, 2007
Posted by Jennai Ell in Alumni Affairs, Kappa Kappa Psi.add a comment
Oh, balcoholic.
I hate to say it – but no chapter stays the same after we move on. It’s the hardest thing I know I’ve had to deal with as an alumn, and it’s a sad song that’s sung by nearly every alumn I’ve ever met.
The new brothers look to the old brothers and say “they don’t understand meeeeee”
The old brothers look at the new brothers and say “they don’t understand who we werrrrre”
It’s a sad fact of life that the chapter will change. It CANNOT be what it was when you were there. Because there are new people, with new ideas amd new views in it. And even if you still live nearby, you are no longer active, and cannot force the chapter to see things your way.
It can be a good thing. But it’s SO hard on us alumni. To go from having your hands on every aspect – to little or no say. It’s a BIG change.
All I can say (and it’s far too late for us now) is to try and be a good example to the new kids. I can’t say how proud I am that members of my family tree can still point me out in a crowd. They know I’m keeping an eye on the chapter, even if I can’t “officially” say anything about the way things are done nowadays. So they generally do the right thing. Even as the newer brothers get newer, and the older graduate themselves, the family tree remembers. Because my littles/sons remembered – and they made sure that THEIR littles/sons remembered – and so on and so on and so on.
*edit* Oh, and if there’s something REALLY important to the history and traditions? Make sure to let the new kids know (as early as their prospective classes) exactly WHY it’s so important. I heard a horror story from…one of the AZ schools? About someone who wanted to change something about their chapter song – and it didn’t go over well. Lots of unhappiness, that situation – which could have been avoided
Other than that? It’s hold your breath, hope for the best, and pray that this new “alumni program” the fraternity’s come up with is able to do something useful.
Lots of Reasons to be a Brother August 21, 2007
Posted by Pepper in Kappa Kappa Psi, List of Reasons, Recruitment, Retention & Attrition.add a comment
Not to change the subject but I’d like to add in a little side conversation here. I want to make a list of X reasons to join K K Psi – as many as possible. Not necessarily serious reasons but I hope not all silly ones. Maybe it would be more like reasons to join and/or stay in K K Psi. If we all post a few reasons ever now and then we can collect them all and maybe put them in one big list on this site, and also maybe give them to chapters who are recruiting.
Heres some to start:
- Have a family away from home
- Help band opportunities survive for the future
- Inside jokes that people in other states get but no one you know can explain
- Travel across the country
- Always have a place to stay on road trips
- Learn how to be a better leader
- Pie in the face
We don’t have to change subjects or anything, maybe just add a few reasons at the end of your post or whatever.Thanks!
